What Not To Knit


Have you heard of steeking? It’s when you spend hours and hours doing something massive, like a fair isle jumper, and then pray vehemently as you take a pair of scissors to it and snip it up the centre to make it into a cardi.  Naturally, I don’t want to spend hours and hours (not to mention mucho $$) on making a full on fair isle jumper only to destroy it as only I know how, so I figured I might get clever and cut up someone else’s jumper first.  Living in a charity-shop less suburb of hell, I turned to ebay to see what I could score.

And got distracted by this: DUKYANA hand knitted THIC...

and this: DUKYANA hand knitted FUZZ...

and this: Item image

Hand-knit muppet-wear from (naturally) Bulgaria.  And the real kicker? These hideous garments go for over $200 EACH!! And this lady has sold over 900 of them! WHAT?!?!

I”m really kicking myself for giving away some of my hand knits to the charity shop when it became obvious I was never going to wear them ( i.e. my shedtastic furry blue hoodie), a few jumpers I out grew, some shrugs, etc.

Item image I mean, it looks like someone killed Oscar, skinned him, and then draped him over a a log instead of a mannequin.  This one Item image is $560!! To be eaten by a blanket and cocooned!

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Don't Lose a Bet with Someone Who Knits

On second thought…

What not to knit- Men in Belted Sweaters

Sexy

fashion fail - Poorly Dressed: What a nice wholesome...OH MY GOD

But some of our best friends are black!

Every now and then I come across something so hideous, it really makes you wonder why someone decieded to not only go through with it’s invention, but also post it (for free) under the assumption that other people would want to knit it as well.

This issue of What Not to Knit comes from Knittingdaily.com Now every so often, Knitting Daily lets its members download an e-book of 7 free patterns.  Today was the day I got my free e-book, and I have to say, there was maybe one or two I would seriously consider casting on.   So I went, as I normally do, to see what other knitting porn there was in Knitting Daily’s archives.   Some, pretty cute, like this knitting bag:

Others, not so much.

I give you WTF 1:

and WTF 2:

Unsurprisingly, NO ONE has knit any of the following, although they were in 3 differnt queues.  Wha?

I know there’s a blog out there dedicated to what not to knit, but they seem to have died a year ago.  So I figure every now and then, I’ll spice this baby up with a What Not To Knit feature.  Todays? Yeah, I know it’s a joke. I know it’s Sasha Baron Cohen promoting his new film Bruno, but at the end of the day, it’s a full on knit body suit.